I got out and had carefree fun for what feels like the longest time in forever. I was with people, the woman in my grandma’s helper who helped me with my fractured femur. She helped me install at the BOB. Part of why I’m doing this is to tell people about me. I may seem crazy and irresponsible because of my attitude when I’m out and about. I’m incredibly angry at my existence and sweating to music and making art is the best I can do with the energy. I talk to people who are paid to talk to me mostly. If you’ve ever talked with me long you get it.
My family is an exception. I’m pretty sure people who don’t know a thing about me have lied to my husband about who I am because it’s fun. ha ha. Sometimes I can just be with him and my kids which why my thoughts switch to them and my eyes well up. For the longest time he wondered what I was keeping from him. nothing. Its a matter of what he couldn’t see. I hope he gets it now. or almost. if I’m supposed to do something else, I don’t know what.
Well, other than get a spin class going at the jail. What better population to offer a crazy, intense, healthy opportunity to? He thinks I’m such a snob. I know this from the way he responds and what he thinks of what I say. Really, it points to the issue of I don’t know how to talk to people (unless they’re paid to talk to me). usually. I was able to yell a few sentances to my neightbor about going downtown before we left. The ability to vocalize that loudly AND evvectively was progress.
I am trying to get out of the box.The gravitron helps. Want to know what a Gravitron is?
It is good to hang from and to stretch just about everything.
The woman I went with took a few pictures. They point to something I should do more of: knit everywhere! They’re fun and I’m glad her and her husband (married 28 years tomorrow!) she did that with me.
Make bags for Etsy. I’ve got rectangles right now. That is something tangible I can do with my alive time here on this rotating sphere. I’ve had these idea many times before. Getting closer.
