I just have to flat out explain my position because anyone who knows me knows I don’t have what I need to properly adjust to the story another person may or not be follwing. I learned others can morph into and out of your story recently. Right now it feels as though I am walking into a bubble that is ignorant of me. They’re addressing things they cant explain why the rule they’re enforcing is causing a problem. It’s a weird stale mate with the wesern mind-brain opposing a possible antidote I’ve found to it.
The Antidote can be found on the associated You Tube account! So to grow and develop that is a goal. I’m working on my own voice quality of course but a spin class for all the spin lovers to have fun with their voices.
I’ve gotta get to the point where I can sing independtly with the choir (Fountain Street Church choir). When I’ve done choir in the past, I learned the song by osmosis. My lead ins are often led by the conductor but they are not strong right now. I can hit most of the pitches but controlling when they come out feels like a phantom arm might feel. Sometimes the search resolves, like in a dream where you know you’re out of air anywhere, but oh wait, you’re not, and sometimes its a wall.
Today was a strong day. It started off with that conversation that helped me see that people just don’t know me. A woman yesterday said she didn’t know if I had goals because of the part of town we live in or the aesthetics of my apartment insides. I was recently called tepid by someone I thought knew me well. Layers of respect?
Do you monitor your days? Look at the good parts to take away and build your other days with?
It is good I don’t have the kids now so I have time to do the music and the spin/gym work again. I’m trying to nurse my voice as well I can while I can. whew. that means I gotta be accountalbe to myself first. Christine’s ride at 6 tonigh is eyeing me. When that happens….
I think she told me I could stay undercover. lol. What if I could ask her why I thought she said, “You know you can stay undercover.”
Should I? I think most of the views for this have been bots which just makes my eyes roll. Do you keep a journal? If there’s any conscious life reading this please respond as such, lol. Choir entry. I was going to video record choir. compare suffering here to suffering in Pakistan… yea, that’s how exciting this is. . . . and yet….silence my soul.
lofty thoughts. lofty thoughts. think about a small business and how much improper power that avoids….